A Choice
by SarahLou
Summary: A oneshot about what Mimi and Roger might do if she got pregnant. NOT a futurekids fic.


**Warning: If you are offended by themes that deal with abortion then please, stop reading right now.**

For those of you who have stayed, let me say this: I am pro-life, but I know many people in my life who have chosen to have an abortion. I also know it must be a traumatic experience. RENT deals with many subjects that are considered taboo by society so I thought that I would cover one that isn't dealt with a lot. My idea was inspired by the story "Hills like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway.

* * *

"_'Then what will we do afterwards?' _

_'We'll be fine afterwards. Just like we were before.' _

_'What makes you think so?' _

_'That's the only thing that bothers us. It's the only thing that's made us unhappy.' _

_The girl looked at the bead curtain, put her hand out and took hold of two of the strings of beads. _

_'And you think then we'll be all right and be happy.' _

_'I know we will. Yon don't have to be afraid. I've known lots of people that have done it.' _

_'So have I,' said the girl. 'And afterwards they were all so happy.' "_

_--From "Hills like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway.

* * *

_

Mimi had to teach herself not to hate doctor's offices and hospitals. The word clinic made her shiver. Mostly because whenever she went to a doctor's office, a hospital or a clinic she got bad news.

"Mimi, I'm sorry, your father just died."

"Mimi, your test came back positive."

"Mimi, you need to get an AZT refill."

Today she was going for an entirely different reason. Today was thefirst time in her entire life that she felt the burden that AIDS had left her with. For the first time 'No day but Today' felt like nothing more than empty words. She was going to have to kill the little thing inside of her. Her unborn baby, her _child._ The only people who knew about it were her friends, and even they were torn about it. Roger was being as supportive as he could, but Mimi knew he was upset about it. Maureen hadn't talked to her since the day she found out, and Collins was ignoring the subject all together. Even though some people seemed to be supportive, Mimi still felt very alone.

Mimi didn't understand how a tiny bundle of tissues could cause such an uproar. Even she was amazed at what was going on inside her. She and Roger had created a life form, a human being. And now, she had to take it away. She was a murderer.The very thought almost brought her to tears; Mimi hadthought all her life thatshe was against abortion until she found out that it was probably the only choice she had.

"_What's wrong? Why did you want to take me out to lunch today?" _

"_Well…I have some news." _

"_Good or bad?"_

"_That's for you to decide."_

The abortion clinic was exactly what Mimi had expected it to be: Clean, white, boring and unwelcoming. There were pamphlets with sad looking girls on them with so-called helpful facts about getting an abortion. 'Getting an abortion is perfectly legal!' 'Over 1,500,000 babies are terminated each year.' The idea still made Mimi squeamish. She kept on second guessing herself.

"_You're…you're what?"_

"_Pregnant."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I took a home pregnancy test after I missed my period and it said I was, so I went to the doctor's office and they confirmed it."_

"_Well, what are we going to do?"_

"_I don't know."_

In the corner of the clinic there was a sullen looking girl with red eyes and puffy cheeks. She wasn't alone; her mother was sitting next to her, putting her arm around her shoulders and giving her reassuring a smile. Mimi would kill to have Roger sitting next to her right now, but he had to work today and she wanted to get it done as soon as possible. Roger didn't even know she was here today. Sitting next to Mimi was a forty year old looking woman with peroxide blonde hair and a face that was practically immoble.

"Are you here for your daughter, too?"

"Oh, heavens no. I'm here for me."

"Oh?"

"Yes, you see, my husband left me four months ago and let's just say he didn't only leave me the house, the car, the summer cottage, the jet-ski or the—

"Mimi Marquez?"

"That's me, nice to have met you." Mimi said hurriedly to the woman next to her as she got up.

"_Have you made a decision?"  
__  
"No." _

"_Well, you better do it fast, how far along are you?"_

"_Two months."_

"_Do you just want to keep it?"_

"_We can't…What are we going to tell it when it's old enough? That it's life will be cut in half because of decisions we made when we were younger?"_

"_Well what about an adoption?"  
_

"_No parent is going to want a child that's infected with HIV."_

"_I guess…maybe we should just get an abortion."  
_

"It's a really simple procedure.Would you like me to explain to it you?" The doctor asked as she put on the gloves.

"No, thank you."

"Okay, so let's get started."

Afterward, Mimi promised herself she wouldn't cry. Why should she? It wasn't her life that was being taken away. She felt so guilty. On the walk home she saw her reflection and was almost surprised she looked exactly the same. In her mind there was some subconcious thought that she should have some sort of mark that told everybody what she had done.

Later at the loft Collins and Mark were the only two there.

"Did you do it?" Mark asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but the look in his eyes was filled with concern.

"Yeah." Was all Mimi could mumble before the tears started falling. Mark came over and tried giving her an awkward hug.

"Did Roger know you were doing it today?" Collins asked from his seat on the couch. Mimi shook her head 'no' and accepted a tissue from Mark.

"Well are you going to tell him?" Collins asked with a little hostility in his voice.

"I guess I'll have to. I'm going out, I need to get some air."

After leaving the loft Mimi found Roger sitting on a park bench.

"Roger, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working?" Mimi asked, joining him on the bench.

"Yeah, I am, I'm just on break. I was just thinking, maybe we should keep the baby."

"What…but why?"

"Well, I mean I know you say that it would be born with AIDS but don't they have shots to put in the baby that stops the virus when it's born?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you don't have to say ordo anything yet, but give it some thought, okay? Wouldn't it be great to leave something on Earth when we go? You know, kind of like a legacy of who we were and what we did. I mean, if we keep this baby then we will have had really lived without regrets, and that's what I think an abortion will be, a regret. I mean, don't you ever imagine what it will look like or whether it's going to take dance or guitar lessons? Or... I don't know it's just that there are endless possibilities. I really want to keep it, Mimi."

"Roger, I have something to tell you."


End file.
